YP Corner: When competiveness morphs into sabotage and jealously

In the News Young Professionals
Heather Poltrock

Broadcasting is a tough business. It’s so competitive. You’re competing with other stations, streaming services, and satellite – radio and TV… the list goes on.  Sometimes you’re even competing with coworkers when it comes to internal promotions.

Every one wants to be the best—but what if someone’s attempt to be the best includes making your work life difficult?

Dr. Brian Weiland from the Behavioral Health Clinic weighs in.

Dr. Brian Weiland

“I think with jealousy, it’s less of a ‘you’ issue and more of a ‘them’ issue. Which, you know, really means if somebody’s jealous of you, kind of little bit of a compliment. You know, really, it means that you’re doing a lot of things right.

And so, really no adjustments need to be made. If somebody’s jealous of you. The problem is, though, when the second part comes into play, when the person seems to have it out for you, because in my mind, that means that the person may be doing some things to sort of sabotage your effectiveness as an employee.

And you know, that can be definitely something that can be a major issue in the workplace.

I my thought about this is honesty is the best policy. And in general, you sort of treat people the way you would like to be treated. So in other words, I might start off with looking to be as kind as I can to this person. Really trying to do the best I can to not give them any sort of reason… any sort of additional reason to have it out for me. You know, again, try to be a kind person– not going above and beyond because I don’t want to almost reward them for being jealous of me.

And the other piece is if it kind of gets to a point where it seems to be out of getting out of hand. Again, honesty is the best policy and communication is a big deal. I think it takes a big person to sort of confront this kind of situation and say to the person, “You know, I just feel like you and I are kind of on the wrong foot here. Do you notice that too? Are we having trouble? I feel like there’s a disconnect between you and me.”

 Those types of phrases to sort of start out a conversation. They’re non-accusatory. And they’re just kind of you acknowledging, and you sort of saying something feels a bit off here.

“Maybe we should talk about it.” And then if nothing else, that the person says “No, I have no problems”. Then at least it gets it on their radar that you know that there’s a disconnect. And now they know you know that there’s a disconnect.

I like those two ideas, confront the issue, if possible. In a kind way non-accusatory way and just in general looking to try to be kind. Again treating people how you would like to be treated. 

The Wisconsin Broadcasters Young Professionals Committee strives to bring relevant information to new broadcasters by tackling industry challenges with the help of Wisconsin-based experts.

-Heather Poltrock
WSAW-TV, Wausau

About Dr. Weiland

Dr. Brian Weiland is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who has spent most of his life in North-central Wisconsin including receiving his Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from UW-Stevens Point.  He then received his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Wisconsin School of Professional Psychology in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and completed his clinical internship at Lakeview Specialty Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Waterford, Wisconsin.

Dr. Weiland has conducted research in the area of successful psychotherapy and is, therefore, most interested in fostering a therapeutic environment where patients can feel safe to be their authentic selves. He believes it is the process of self-exploration that heals and allows patients to break free from worries and destructive patterns that leave clients feeling hopeless and trapped. Dr. Weiland utilizes a relational-dynamic approach which focuses on integrating past experiences with the here-and-now moments that occur in the office.

Dr. Weiland provides individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults ages 14 and up as well as couples therapy. He also conducts psychological testing to clarify diagnoses as well as to confirm or rule out ADHD. Dr. Weiland offers clinical supervision to other professionals as well as therapeutic services to psychology students/professionals who are looking to explore their own biases to be most effective with their patients.

His areas of clinical specialty include:

  • Personality Disorders
  • Relationship Issues
  • Anger
  • Low Self-esteem
  • Christian Counseling
  • Grief
  • Trauma in its various forms

Dr. Weiland is a member of the American Psychological Association(APA), Wisconsin Psychological Association (WPA), and American Psychoanalytic Association (APsaA). Dr. Weiland is also one out of three owners that direct Behavioral Health Clinic of Wausau.